Diary of a Glutton

To tell you the truth, I have been quite burnt out, overworked, and overwhelmed as of late.

I was so excited when I came into this new job back in July, but lately, I feel like I have internalized a lot of the responsibility that’s supposed to be shared with my senior advisor. Without competent personnel in my section, I did not feel like I could trust others to do the work I should have delegated. That lead to a lot of stress on my part.

Because of all the stress I felt, it manifested as anxiety, terrible eating habits (like snacking, craving sugar), abnormal periods, and hair loss. I have also stopped working out, which was a healthy habit I had managed to create a few months ago. However, because I was so stressed, I just constantly wanted to rest.

Before I start talking about how I plan on losing the weight I have gained since January, I want to touch on how my confidence is affected by my how my body feels that day. I know that the scale is never a good representation of how “healthy” an individual is because the scale does not consider water weight or muscle weight, so I never base my mood off of that number. Is this a healthy mindset?

I tend to base my mood off of how I am feeling that morning when I wake up. Interestingly enough, how I wake up is also affected by my dinner from the previous night and where I am in the 28-day cycle. If I feel more limber and ready to work out, that is a good sign for me. Although I’m not sure if that is something that is also affected by how often I am implementing a workout routine.

As of yesterday (31Mar), I can see that my face is more round and holding more fat in my face. This is not to criticize my looks — I am simply stating facts. I have noticed my arms have also gained more fat, as I do not see as much muscle as before.

I have thought about this multiple times… about how I plan on losing the weight I have gained.

This is the plan: daily fasting with a 16:8 schedule, alternating walk & run days, 3 mini workouts a day, and, lastly, practice gratitude and mindfulness to build resiliency. I am in a time of my life where I can afford to do this with little to no stress in my life. It will only be for 8 weeks, so I am hoping I can see some results in that time frame.

The last time I did 16:8 fasting was about 4 years ago, and I was super strict with it while also eating very low calories and working out intensely 2x a day. While I saw results quickly, it was not a healthy method at all. My immune system was constantly compromised — I even caught hand, foot, mouth disease (something kids normally get) and strep throat simultaneously during finals season!

This time around, I want to maintain a healthier mindset while fasting, so I plan on implementing a gratitude practice. My workout routine will be some form of cardio (3 walks, 4 runs split between timed runs and sprints) and yoga in the morning; afternoon lunch session will be a short routine consisting of 3–5 sets of one lower body exercise, one upper body exercise, and abs or shoulders thrown in at the end; pre-dinner session will be the minimalist routine found on r/bodyweightfitness which is 2–6 sets of 4–5 exercises.

I will also have to take more designated breaks and go on walks during that time period because I am no longer walking 5–7 miles a day anymore, and it will be good for my back and posture as well.

In terms of improving eating habits, I would like to have fiber and veggies be the main star of the meal. Protein/meat should be a side, not a main dish. I also would like to implement a no snacking rule. I snacked so often in the early beginning of 2022 for a variety of reasons. Stress being the main reason, but a lot of it was also due to my regular eating habits — I was snacking constantly and not prioritizing the right foods in my meals, which would later lead to sugar crashes in the afternoon, which lead to more snacking in order to give me that little “pick-me-up.”

To be fair, I am also a huge glutton, so it didn’t help to have cookies and other snacks right in front of my face all the time. I couldn’t resist, so I am trying to unlearn this habit of seeking sugar and snacks for energy by listening to more functional health podcasts.

As of now, I am just focused on 2 meals a day and a fruit as a snack right before a workout session to provide some pre-workout energy. I am hoping that this practice of gratitude and ridding myself of gluttony will also aid in the weight loss.

I understand that one should love their body, and I do. I love my body, and therefore, I want to prioritize my health. ⁣Getting rid of these terrible eating habits will help my health immensely. I will no longer have to rely on food as some sort of emotional escape and I will no longer have to snack in order to keep my energy levels up. That is a key focus on why I am embarking on this journey of self-love.

The key for all this to occur is to stay consistent and change one small thing at a time. I technically already fast since I do not eat past 8pm. Now I just have to extend the morning to the noon time frame. I have always included veggies in my meals. Now, I just have to eat more of it and eat more slowly. Be present when I am consuming food instead of mindlessly eating. My workout schedule will be the one most difficult to implement, especially the cardio, since I have not run since December after injuring my hip. I hope to run more to increase my stamina, so weight loss will not be the only goal here.

Regardless, I am excited for this journey of transformation….